Guy Who’s “Not Into Movies” More Than Happy to Give Constructive Criticism on Woman’s Shortlisted Sundance Film

Despite Myles Prickett’s general disdain for the moving image, he was, in what some are calling “an impressive display of sacrifice,” extremely willing to workshop his old college-hook-up’s first feature, which has been shortlisted at the prestigious film festival, Sundance, this season.

“He just contacted me out of nowhere,” Vivian Taylor told our correspondent. “It took me a second to figure out who he was, but then he said ‘Myles, with a y,’ and it all those repressed memories of faking an orgasm to the sound of a Bon Iver vinyl came rushing back.”

Prickett asserts that, though he was only able to get through about two minutes of the film, he definitely has an auteur’s eye to bring to that little whimsy of Vivian’s.

“It’s pretty cool of Myles to help out Violet or whatever her name was, after all these years,” says Myles’ best friend from college, Ethan, who was in at least five round-table seminars with Vivian.  “Especially, considering, you know, the fact that he’s not even sure if film can be art?” 

In response to Vivian’s silence, which he interpreted as a request for specific suggestions, Myles threw around the phrases “mise-en-scene,” “aperture framing,” and “diegetic sound,” for a few minutes, before it became necessary for him to open a book, as his eyes were growing strained from the thought of looking at screens for so long.

“I mean, it’s too late to change anything about the film, and even if I could,” Taylor says, “‘ramp up the aspect ratio and employ more Nouvelle Vague’ doesn’t really mean anything?”  

Prickett maintains that his feedback, as one who has been in a number of poetry workshops, and is “considering options for an MFA,” is akin to that of directors such as Quentin Tarantino and Wes Anderson, whose films he cites as the pinnacle of on-screen art.  

Is he wrong? Sources note that he took an Intro to Media Studies class in freshman year of undergrad, so probably not! 

“I don’t think he really understands how movies work,” Vivian says. “He kept talking about ‘writing with the camera,’ and how I should explore the inner turmoil of the cat-caller. I don’t know who he was talking about, that’s not even a character in the film.” 

Vivian’s college best friend Stella was unavailable for comment, as upon hearing Myles’ name she was overcome with a bout of nausea, and had to leave the room.

“I don’t want anything from Vivian,” Myles says.  “Just maybe a Producer credit. And royalties, if this pet project of hers ever actually takes off.”

Prickett has not seen a film in the past year, but is currently re-reading Infinite Jest, and would cite it as his top book of the year, so far.

“I just want to offer my services, to help women trying to make it creatively,” Myles says.  “Because that’s feminism.  And also Vivian was pretty hot.” 

Sources note that Myles sports a “Time’s Up” pin on his Strand totebag.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Woman’s Finger Permanently Shrivels After Fishing for her IUD for Over 4 Hours

Is There Water In Your Ear Or Are You Drunk?

Top 8 Ways To Make That Boy Like You