Herpowerment

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In this lil section we have articles that empower her...a shperson, like you! 

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Is There Water In Your Ear Or Are You Drunk?

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So it’s been 2018 for a week now, and you’ve been noticing you’re having trouble walking in a straight line.   There are so many potential reasons for this—maybe you’re just a free spirit and straight lines are too rigid a path for you to cut! But ultimately, what it comes down to, is—are you sporting a small river of water in your right ear, or are you maybe drunk off your ass? Have you gone Deep Sea Diving Recently? A.    Yes, just last week!   Nothing like a tank of oxygen to get your heart pumping after that sea-weed-dick Brian left it crumpled and static! B.     No, but I have been diving headfirst into Champagne fountains! Do You Take Regular Baths? A.    Yes, how best to relax after a year/lifetime of emotional labor but a good ol’ soak up to the eyeballs twice or five times a day? B.     No, unless you mean drowning my sorrows in never ending Fish Bowls with the girls—in that case, yes! Have you rec...
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Guy Who’s “Not Into Movies” More Than Happy to Give Constructive Criticism on Woman’s Shortlisted Sundance Film

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Despite Myles Prickett’s general disdain for the moving image, he was, in what some are calling “an impressive display of sacrifice,” extremely willing to workshop his old college-hook-up’s first feature, which has been shortlisted at the prestigious film festival, Sundance, this season. “He just contacted me out of nowhere,” Vivian Taylor told our correspondent. “It took me a second to figure out who he was, but then he said ‘Myles, with a y,’ and it all those repressed memories of faking an orgasm to the sound of a Bon Iver vinyl came rushing back.” Prickett asserts that, though he was only able to get through about two minutes of the film, he definitely has an auteur’s eye to bring to that little whimsy of Vivian’s. “It’s pretty cool of Myles to help out Violet or whatever her name was, after all these years,” says Myles’ best friend from college, Ethan, who was in at least five round-table seminars with Vivian.  “Especially, considering, you know, the fac...
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Four New Years Resolutions for 2018 To Not Fulfill Because They Would Make Your Boyfriend Feel Inferior

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2017 is wrapping up, and everyone is thinking about what the New Year will bring.   Here are some resolutions you can think about, but ultimately decide not to enact because they just might make your boyfriend feel worse about himself! 1.      Exercising Let alone joining a gym, don’t go for a daily walk or even opt for the stairs this year—your boyfriend will only feel worse about the hours he spends on the couch scrolling through the RIP Vine Sub-Reddit.   Instead, pick options like taking a nap, Power-Resting, or Extreme Sitting in 2018—you’ll probably feel worse for it, but your relationship will maintain the ideal gender balance! 2.      Say ‘Yes’ More Often This is a tried and true resolution that could open you up to a whole new world of possibilities, people, and pastimes—so DON’T do it!   Do you want to leave your boyfriend behind as you jaunt off on work trips to Europe, a night out with the girls, or a cera...
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